Lincoln's Accident
by Ragan Reagan Boxer
Summary: Lincoln really fucking needs to go. I don't know why i wrote this.


**- _To the people who inspired me. Flag1991, Ponysweets, Abhettantscript, The Bodacious E, Midgar, D4rk Side, and Captain Dodge. This story goes out to you guys._**

It was a pretty miserable Thursday afternoon in the town of Royal Woods, it was cloudy and everyone was just doing their own thing because no one could give enough of a fuck.

"Son of a fucker!" grunted Lincoln.

Lincoln tossed and turned in his bed, in his chair, against the wall, even on all fours. He tried every position possible but nothing was helping with his intense pain.

Lincoln had had enough, today was the breaking point. He was tired of this feeling of numbness and this awful cramp in his stomach. He no longer wanted to deal with this rancid abdominal pain. Today was the day he went to go take a release his behemoth of a shit.

He had been holding it in for about 2 weeks now, No one was sure why but then again no one really cared because everyone in this house hold is a conceited piece of shit.

Lincoln slowly opened up the door as to not agitate his lower posterior, that ass crack was a ticking time bomb filled with solid and liquid death. He slowly began to walk.

Lincoln waddled his way to the bathroom with his butt clenched so tight it might as well be welded together. All was going smoothly until that stupid mother fucker showed her ugly ass face.

"ey bra, you wanna hear my newest ja-" Lincoln cut Luna off by grabbing he from the throat with both hands, lifting her up over her head, and chucking her against Lori and Leni's door with the force of a semi. Her body flattened like a pancake and went limp, bones were broken and brain matter was splattered on the inside of her stupid rock infested cranium.

All while Lincoln kept his shit together, literally.

"I don't have time for this Luna! I gotta poo!" Proclaimed Lincoln as he squeezed his ass cheeks together

He turned ever so slowly and began walking towards the bathroom again, tears were seeping out of his little ass beady eyes and he was starting to sweat bullets. His peepee was strangely getting hard and he bit his lower lip to the point of skin getting chewed. He strided towards the bathroom door and *gasp* it was locked.

Lincoln could not wait a second longer, his asshole was about to open a gateway to the 9th layer of hell. He battered his head through the door and went wide eyed as his eyes darted around the room, only to find a Lola sitting on the toilet seat.

"LINCOLN!" exclaimed the princess.

"Can you not!? You are totally invading my princess privacy hour Lincoln."

Lincoln did not hear her.

Lincoln didn't even hear a mumble.

Lincoln saw his goal, and wasn't going to let any walking vagina get in his way.

As Lincoln reaches for the knob on the otherside, Luan walked up behind him.

"Hey Lincoln!" spat the disgusting comedian. "What happens to the brain when you hold in a fart too long?"

Lincoln wasn't having any of that. He grabbed Luan by the legs and in firefighter fashion, he swung against the door, breaking and chipping away wood and ripping the door right from its hinges. Lincoln was amazed with Luans durability and decided to plug her up his own butt for the time being, as this next feat would need all the assistance he could get.

Lincoln cowboy straddled his way towards Lola, she was screaming in pure terror.

Lincoln did not want to hear it any longer.

Lincoln grabbed her by the base of her head and tore her in half like a piece of paper as he shrieked to the top of his lungs. The house shook and Cliff the dog died due to the ear piercing high frequency scream. He threw the pieces of Lola in the trash and pulled Luan out of his asshole. He then proceeded to thank her by railing her over the toilet seat, with her consent of course. After a rough 32 seconds the minute man crumpled her into a ball and chucked her out the window.

"Finally" he whisperes in a sexual tone.

He jumped on the seat and sat on it like a frog.

He cried tears of joy as his butthole began to part like the sea of Moses, He reached down and spread his ass cheeks, just the way Clyde does it for Lincoln and gave one hefty push.

Nothing, not even a fart.

"oh fuck" Lincoln thought.

Lincoln summoned all of the strength he could.

"It's like I'm fucking giving birth to mom!"

Lincoln pushed harder and the head was barely peeking, he cried tears of agony.

Lynn then came to the rescue, she cartwheeled into the bathroom and saw a red faced Lincoln.

"see Linc? This is what happens when you don't exercise, you're too much of a pussy to even take a shit."

"You stupid dyke ass mother father humping fucker!" roared Lincoln, "Shut your stupid carpet munching trap and help me take this goliath of a shit." Tears streamed down Lincolns eyes even harder as he groaned in excitement and agony

Lynn understood her mission; she turned around, squatted, and performed a double backflip twirl right on Lincolns head, the brute force was so much that Lincoln turned inside out. Shit filled not only the toilet, but it made the shape of a pyramid rising up from the toilet.

Lynn swooned, she never saw so much fecal cake in her life. She dived in like the fucking pig she is and began rolling around in Linc's shit

Lana smelled the radiance of excrement and blasted out of her room and completely tarded out as she cannonballed in the shit.

Lynn and Lana began mud wrestling (or should I say, shit sumoing?) in the excrement. Luna began to awak in withering agony and pain, but Leni opened the door right into her face. It didn't open all the way so Leni proceeded to pull the door back and lauch it open forward again.

"Um, like, is this door broken again?"

She proceeded to ram Lunas face to the point where her face was nothing more than lasagna.

Lisa walked out of her room, saw the Luna lasagna, the sibling carnage, and the literal shit show. She left back into her room.

The last thing heard was the gunshot of a Luger morph before the house exploded minutes later due to the methane gas and lighter reaction thanks to Lucy lighting up her hourly cigarette.

So yeah, it was all Lucy's fault that everyone died cause she's an edgy smoke addict.

And shes a cunt.

 **Don't smoke kids. It's a joke.**

The end.


End file.
